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Top 6 Best Perks of Divorced

  • 1

    You get the entire bed to yourself

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  • 2

    "No Responsibilities" is considered the optimal state of being.

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  • 3

    Seeing your bratty kids is now optional

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  • 4

    You get to suppress the existential dread of dying alone with all the booze, drugs, and casual sex you can handle

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  • 5

    Child support and alimony aren't taxable

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  • 6

    You get to joke about how bad marriage is constantly, and nobody will stop you

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